It’s been a while since I’ve written – it’s so easy to get caught up in the daily routines of college life and then flipping the switch into lazy days of relaxation and rest over winter break. While I have been contemplating a lot recently, I think writing is the greatest way to clear my head.
As the new year begins, everyone comes up with these crazy resolutions to work out more or to focus more on school. I admit I’ve crafted (and failed at sticking to) many many resolutions, including this years list of various things I want to change about my life. Just yesterday, I sat and realized that pushing oneself into this cookie cutter lifestyle restricts you from so many messy, risky, and beautiful experiences that life will present you with. This past year, I’ve shared some of the craziest moments with my best friends, and those are things that I would have never been able to do if I got rid of my love for adventure and thrill for pushing limits . I finished my freshman year at Berkeley, explored the nooks and crannies of the Bay area with my best friends, snuck into VIP sections at Coachella, booked a trip to South America just a month in advance, hungout with Branchez lol, climbed Mount Machu Picchu with my best friend & only 5 minutes to spare, worked my ass off at 2 jobs all summer, snuck into clubs in Vegas and stayed in a 3 story suite, took trains and planes and cars to get wherever my little heart desired, ran around San Diego with 2 of my best friends from Austria, conducted my first real research project, got lost at Stanfurd, snuck backstage at concerts, drank kava, tried new foods, said many hellos and goodbyes to people I will never forget, and froze my booty off running around SnowGlobe for New Years. While some of it may have been crazy and/or somewhat illegal, it is all what created the most amazing moments in the last 365 days of my life. And with that, I don’t really want to change anything at all about my life.
Rather than making myself stop going out as much or focusing more on school or eating less gluten or some other unpromising attempt to make me feel better about myself, I want to challenge myself to explore more. I want to challenge myself to love more. I want to challenge myself to be more passionate, more driven, and more optimistic. I look forward to another year of exciting moments and stupid, silly adventures. I don’t want to be perfect, I want to be messy and wrong and to learn and to grow and to remember. Because I’ve learned that that’s ok. It’s ok to not have all your eggs in a basket; to not know what the future holds and just let things unfold.
To be honest, I love the environment and I would really love to spend my life protecting it and doing something great for the earth. But on the other hand, I would absolutely dig working in the film or music industry. Who knows, maybe I could do both? For now, I just want to enjoy life, spend time with my friends & family, and continue my passions for music, photography, writing and film and see what happens with the rest. I’ve grown so much over the past year by just being myself and finding out about who I am based on my experiences & reactions rather than just telling myself who or what I am supposed to be. Striving for personal development and understanding is so much more worthwhile than tweaking the little things. Do what makes you happy, make others happy, just be happy ~ life is very good if you allow it to be 🙂